Self-Love Nature Rituals + Audio Meditation

Valentine’s Day. Do you see it as a capitalist ploy to get us to buy more stuff? Do you prefer to make it a holiday in celebration of women, a la Eve Ensler’s V-Day movement? Perhaps you take the traditional route and view Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to profess your love in a relationship? There are a lot of intense opinions around this culturally contrived occasion. No matter how you look at it, it’s difficult to avoid all the red and pink hearts that spring up in windows and classrooms and shops during the month of February in the United States.

I’m going to join the love bandwagon this month and talk about love, but not romantic love or even universal love. I want to talk about self-love.

There was a time when I didn’t love myself. Weirdly, I didn’t realize that I didn’t love myself until I was incited (by a therapy session) to say it aloud. But I couldn’t. At least not with any real honesty. I could exclaim all my virtues and all the reasons that I “should” love myself. But the deep-down feeling of pure, joyous, unconditional love for myself was missing. Once I had this realization, I wanted to take steps to rectify the problem. I understood that a lack of self-love led to a slew of other issues such as, seeking external validation, being self-critical, comparing yourself to other people, taking things too personally, never being happy with personal achievements, a feeling of discontent, disconnection, feeling like you’re never enough, and on and on. This wasn’t healthy. I could see that if I was able to have more self-love, I could get to the source of a lot of problems. Can you relate at all?

One of the first steps I took was to talk to myself in the mirror. Awkward at first, I’d look at myself and say, “I love you.” I smiled brightly and admired my smile and the good feelings that it stimulated. I gazed deep into my own eyes, remembering the little girl I once was, and tell her, “I love you.” At first, this was a case of “fake it ‘til you make it.” I didn’t necessarily feel what I was saying, but I continued the practice anyway. Eventually, I did begin to feel the presence of love in my adoring mirror missives. As a side effect, I also grew to love all the wrinkles, pimples, moles, and grey hairs I encountered while mirror staring. From time to time, I continue this practice as an easy reminder that I do indeed love myself for no other reason than my existence.

At the same time, I was practicing nature therapy and intuition and recognizing the inherent worthiness of all living beings, including myself. Though as humans we think we must prove ourselves to be worthy, this is only ego. In truth, we are connected to all of existence and loving ourselves is loving life. To love another--parent, friend, partner, pet, child--we must love ourselves because we are all part of one interconnected web of being. To deny one love is to deny all.

Another easy way to develop self-love is through the act of self-care. Caring for ourselves is a way to show love for ourselves. Here are a couple of plant medicines you can use to practice showing yourself love.

ROSE:

There might be a good reason why roses are a romantic gesture in our society because rose medicine is love medicine. Rose petals have multiple uses for uplifting the heart.

As a cardiovascular tonic, rose can calm a racing heart and strengthen the blood vessels, improving elasticity. Aromatically, the scent of rose contains phenylethylamine-related compounds making it an aphrodisiac that can increase your sex drive. In ayurveda, using rose oil is said to help your skin to radiate an inner glow to make you more attractive to others. The scent of rose can heal depression, grief, stress and tension. Rose water is often used in religious ceremonies, such as in mosques at mourning ceremonies, to calm and relax grieving people. 

On an energetic level, rose flower essence is good for healing the heart, boosting unconditional love and tenderness, as well as inspiring self-care and care for other. Rose quartz, the pink colored crystal stone, is said to have healing properties that include, opening your heart, increasing self-love and forgiveness and enhancing positive feelings.

So perhaps it would be fun to buy yourself some roses, rose water, rose oil or rose quartz for Valentine’s Day. Immerse yourself in a rose petal bath and enjoy the many benefits of this loving plant medicine.

CHOCOLATE:

Yup, roses and chocolate. These Valentine cliches are truly plants of love. Cacao is heart medicine. I’ve been devoting time to working intuitively with cacao plant medicine lately and it is truly a heart-centered spirit. Earthy, loving, nurturing and magical, it is no wonder the ancient Mayans considered cacao sacred. Archeological evidence suggests that the cultivation and ritual use of cacao drinking began over 5,000 years ago in Ecuador.

Cacao and cocoa are from the same plant. What we know as chocolate is derived from cocoa, which has been heated. Cacao is raw and much healthier for you. For maximum benefits of chocolate’s medicine, it should be 85% or darker and best if eaten as a whole food without added sweeteners. Cacao is rich in magnesium, an essential component of heart function. The theobromine found in cacao also helps the heart by stimulating circulation and relaxing blood vessels. Cacao can also lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels. For mood boosting benefits, cacao also has serotonin, dopamine and anandamide neuromodulators. And those are just the heart benefits!

I recommend ceremonial grade and ethically sourced cacao such as you can get from Ora Cacao and the Mayan Wisdom Project. Set an intention to give yourself love, forgiveness and compassion for taking on the challenging task of being a human.

Self-love is a journey. There is always more to unravel. Especially if you are someone who deeply cares for others and is devoted to being of service to others or to the earth, self-love can hide from you. You might consider it selfish or narcissistic to love yourself, but if you are worried about being selfish or narcissistic, you probably aren't. Remind yourself that you are a loving being and that is yet another beautiful reason to love yourself.

For more self-love ideas, check out my post on forest bathing and tree hugging.

Listen to self-love audio meditation at top of page.

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